To My Dearest Diary....

Dearest diary…

Hey frndz.... u ol must b thinkin y i gav such a title..... as ths is nt a diary.....

actually its just dat... i write my diary a lot.... so i just wanna share a few thoughts with u ppl....

many diary'z are finished by now... abt 6...... bt still... i keep on wrytn.....how often I have written those words in joy, anger, frustration, fear, disappointment, scratched out my emotions on page after page filling several notebooks through the years.  All my hopes and dreams, shining or tarnished were written down on sometimes tear splattered pages...my life as I saw it...all those yesterdays..... i keep reading n re-reding those old diaryz....  sum pages make me laugh.... maybe becoz its an incident of happiness n a joke craked or a prank played..... or sum incident wch made me happy in the previos dayz.... or maybe its just another incident of my stupidity.... an incident wch aftr reading made me think... OH GOD... HOW STUPID WAS THAT.... I WAS SO SO SO STUPID.... I DID THIS??? HUH!!!!! :P

Then there are things wch make me cry.... it takes me to those dayz....when i had to go through those pangs.... maybe brkupz in frndshipz.... misundrstandings among frndz.... or family probz.... or brkupz of relations.....

Bt wen i think of it as a whole.... i come to one conclusion... its that.....Oh how times have changed, I've changed, grown, become smarter and wiser and a much happier me through the years... 

sum of the pages hav ink sketches.... sum hav scratches..... sum hav just bullshit writtn....

sum hav diffrnt handwrytnz... wch make undrstand wethr i was happy or sad at that moment.... 

its so diffrnt to read my heart... my soul out on just mere pages.... its like how i think... how i carry out ....

my emotions, BOLD PRINT , so emphatic, yet a few lines do seem somewhat sage , full of wisdom from doing deep thinking.... a lot...  expressing just what I was feeling , finding hope even in tarnished dreams… Me holding on tight to the future ,  me wishing for good things in life , me dealing with stress and with strife , me writing God, notes in my notebooks , at times when I couldn’t formally pray (though at times i say i dnt bliv in GOD) , me pouring my heart out to HIM , written on a tear splattered page..... 

but now.... as i see... my thinking has changed... i hav bcum mature.... hav bcum happy...

it actually feels good to read n re-read  those pages.... <3 <3 <3 get to knw my strong ponts n week.... ^_^

Dnt knw how much i wl b able to share wid u all... bt i wl try to write as much as possible abt all my feelingz.... 

With Loadz of love...

$anChaRi...

signing off!!!